


My life for yours

by Notquiteright



Category: Dark (TV 2017)
Genre: Also I need me more Mikkel-Jonas family feels, F/M, Gen, Hannah loved Michael at one point, I need this headcanon to function, Micheal just really loves his son okay, Mikkel-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 04:03:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16297808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notquiteright/pseuds/Notquiteright
Summary: Mikkel and Jonas, and all the mess time travel can bring.





	My life for yours

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this little thing back when I finished the series, and it just resurfaced now. I didn't have an account back then, but I do now, and I decided to post in on the basis of "the world needs more Mikkel-Jonas".

When Mikkel Nielsen met his sister’s new study-mate he wasn’t overly impressed at first. Martha introduced him as Jonas, Mikkel acknowledged him, but chose not to pay him much attention, and watched as they disappeared into Martha’s room. 

Little did he know that Jonas was to be a permanent fixture, and he came around any and every time the two had a test coming up (Mikkel couldn’t be sure whether that was because one of them was secretly a genius, or one or both of them fancied the other, but didn’t have the guts to confess. Maybe both). 

And this was precisely the reason why the two of them entered the house, dripping wet and laughing. When they noticed him they seemed to compose themselves (or rather Jonas did). 

“Hi there” Martha greeted him a little breathless and a lot embarrassed, and then she looked around, noticing the quiet. “Mom?” 

“Something came up at school.” and then he gestured towards the fridge “She said there are leftovers in the fridge for you” Martha nodded. 

“And Magnus?” Mikkel gave her a pointed look. Martha sighed, seemingly getting the message that their brother wasn’t a person to overshare. They both knew better than to ask about their father. Working, as _always_. 

“So they left you here alone?” Jonas spoke up. Mikkel glanced at him curiously, weighing whether it meant that as a child he couldn’t handle himself and shouldn’t be left alone, or simply asked out of concern. Deciding it was the latter, he shrugged. Martha moved around to him to the kitchen. 

“Well I’m making us dinner” she broke the silence. “Boys?” she stopped and turned back when she saw they hadn’t moved, prompting them to follow her. Mikkel and Jonas sat down at the dinner table while Martha went for their fridge. Jonas looked terribly uncomfortable, which was a little bit amusing if Mikkel was honest, but in the end he decided he should at least try to break the ice. 

“Do you want see a magic trick?” he offered, but the answer didn’t come from Jonas. 

“Mikkel don’t harass Jonas.” his sister told him sternly, but Jonas just shook his head. 

“No, it’s fine Martha. I’m actually curious.” and Mikkel was surprised to find that he meant it. Sure his family (mostly his father) indulged him time and again, but Jonas looked genuinely interested. 

Mikkel performed his go-to trick, barely paying attention to his movements, instead sneaking glances at the older boy whenever he could. Jonas was smiling slightly all the way through. 

“Nice trick” he said when he finished and Mikkel beamed at the compliment. “You know my father used to perform tricks like this to cheer me up when I was little.” he chuckled. “Though he still hasn’t told me how he does it” then he shook his head with a fond smile as he corrected himself. “Or rather _when_ he does it” Mikkel was taken aback but Martha just laughed. 

“Mikkel always says the same thing!” she exclaimed cheerfully, as she put down the plates in front of the boys. “Guess it’s the traditional magician way of saying ‘I won’t ever tell you’ “

“Guess so.” Jonas let out a little laugh, sharing a conspirational look with Mikkel, who decided that maybe he liked Jonas after all. 

“You have a cool dad Jonas” he said and Jonas just smiled. 

“Yeah, I do” 

***

After a while Mikkel accepted that there was nothing he could do. He was stuck in 1986 forever. It stung and hurt, and there were times when he woke up in the morning, believing it all a dream then breaking down crying when he realized it was not. But slowly, he got better. 

He avoided Ulrich and Katharina at all costs ( _Mom and Dad_ , something inside him screamed, but he silenced the voice. It was Mikkel Nielsen. And he was Michael Kahnwald now) and he even made friends. 

But there was a nagging thought in his head. In every movie about time travel it was repeated over and over as a golden rule: do not change anything. But how can he not? The movie characters all got to go home, he couldn’t. Wasn’t his presence here change enough? What is already altered? 

Worries ate away at him and he didn’t know what to do. There was no manual for time-travel, and there was no one he could ask for advice. He was all alone. 

“Michael?” Hannah’s voice snapped him out of his musings. “Is everything okay?” she asked, her brows furrowed in concern. Michael nodded. 

“Yes” he replied, forcing a smile. Hannah didn’t seem convinced, and reached out to squeeze his hand, and didn’t let go until their classes started. And Michael realized that maybe, _maybe_ he wasn’t quite alone. 

***

When Hannah suggested they name the baby Jonas a ghost of pain clutched at Mikkel’s heart, but Michael agreed nevertheless. 

“He is so much like you” Hannah said, watching their soundly sleeping son with a smile. Michael kissed her cheek, and then looked at baby in her arms, trying to find a resemblance and coming up with nothing. 

“He is not” he replied with a chuckle. Hannah rolled her eyes good-naturedly and then began to tell him ‘this is like you.’ ‘and this’ ‘and this’. 

The list grew as the years went on, but Michael never quite saw himself in Jonas. Truth be told, he never saw Hannah in him either. He reminded him too much of someone else. 

Something about him was… familiar. It was someone from his past, someone Mikkel knew, a silhouette of a ghost, too blurry to make out but clear enough to bring his thoughts to a screeching halt. He tried not to think about his past, to keep Mikkel and Michael separate whenever he could. 

Perhaps that is why he could ignore the truth staring him in the face for so long… but not _forever_. 

***

Mikkel was in one word miserable. He stared up at the ceiling, counting… something. The dust perhaps. He no longer remembered. He no longer cared. 

Today was the day Mikkel Nielsen was born, that _he_ was born. He felt sick to the bone, like he wanted to vomit yet didn’t even have the energy for that, because how messed up was his life? He was already a man while he was still a baby in a hospital at the same time and he knew, he knew that this Mikkel will also be brutally ripped from his family. He knew he will live out-of-place and out-of-time for the rest of his life, and he was barely even born. 

Should he try to stop it? Stop him? Is it even possible? He thought that his travel would disrupt the timeline, and it did not. Can he even change the past? More importantly… does he want to? 

He almost didn’t hear the door opening through the loudness of his thoughts, but somehow he did hear it. Then there was a beat of silence. He knew it was Jonas immediately. Were it Hannah who found him, she would’ve already gasped and asked worriedly if he was alright. Michael supposed it was a testament to how often he found himself in a mood like this, that his son didn’t say a word, just climbed into bed with him and curled into his side. Michael took a deep breath and hugged him closer. 

They stayed like that for a while, the silence no longer a heavy weight pressed on his chest, when Jonas barely audibly murmured: 

“I’m here Papa” and nuzzled even closer to him. Michael blinked and blinked, fighting the tears welling up in his eyes. 

“Yes. You are.” he replied with a shaky voice, kissing the top of Jonas’ head. And he thought that maybe this was enough. For a moment he felt that everything has been worth it, if it means having his son here. “You are” he repeated it, like a prayer, like a lifeline as he held the boy he loved more than his own life close to his chest. 


End file.
